My Muse
by Miss Matched
Summary: It's been almost a year! Check out the REVISED and in some places, rewritten version! A song, a poem, will they be enough for Helga to open up? Enough for Arnold to fall head over heels?
1. Secrets and Poems

My Muse

A fan fiction by Miss Matched

______________________________________________

All standard disclaimers apply, but I'll restate. I own no characters in this story, however I did write the poetry and song.

  


(Authors Note: This is around the one year anniversary for this story. When I wrote it, I was meaning for it to be a simple one chapter story, but as you can already tell, it got out of hand, and even has its own sequel in progress. On my old computer, I didn't have a spell checker, and I wrote parts in such a hurry, I figured that I should take the time to make a revised edition. I hope you enjoy!)

________________________________________________________

  


Chapter One: 

Secrets and Poems

_______________________________________________

  


"Just one more cocoacino!" Chocolate boy begged  
Sheena sighed "No chocolate boy, I'm afraid I have to cut you off" It was after school at the Cocoahut, a little something Mr. Simmon's class created for after school entertainment. Everyone took their seats.  
  
"It's Helga's turn again, and you know what that means" Gerald quipped  
"Another comedy routine. They're pretty funny, Gerald. Just don't take everything personally." Arnold smiled.  
"If I hear another joke about my hair and a Jello mold, I swear, man!"  
"Come on, that was actually cute"  
"Listen to yourself... calling something Helga said CUTE?" Gerald said in mock horror "You gotta watch what you say, man!"  
Arnold nodded "Guess that just slipped out." he scratched his head as Helga stepped up onto the makeshift stage.   
  
"Hello everyone!" she said, her arms shaking nervously.  
"What, not ladies and germs?" Gerald whispered  
"I'm not doing any comedy today. And BELIEVE ME, not a freeform poem about everyone!" she laughed "Instead, a song I wrote for someone..." she blushed and pointed to Phoebe to cue the tape. As the music began, she took the microphone out of its stand.  
  
"I hold my breath as you walk this way  
tell my heart to sush it's flutter  
I wanna hear each word you say and smile.  
You step near me and I hesitate  
Words spill out and now it's too late  
my chance has passed and now I hate what I've done...  
And once again my defenses won..."  
  
"What is she DOING man?" Gerald whispered loudly.   
Arnold quieted him "Shush... she's really good... she's singing it from the heart"  
  
"I wanna walk a mile in your shoes  
to know how you make me feel this way  
I want you to feel every emotion I've felt  
When you've just come up to say  
hello  
so you know  
though it never shows  
cuz my pride always stands in the way  
there's something that I've always wanted to say..."  
  
Helga glanced over at Mr. Simmons as she sang. He had tears in his eyes. She smiled at his creampuff reaction. Still, it was nice to know someone was listening. She looked over at Arnold, trying not to make it too obvious. She smiled as she saw him politely listening. She smiled, the next verse oughtta get him.  
  
"The words never come out right  
as all my chances slip by  
and I watch my childhood race before my eyes  
Words unspoken, tears unseen  
a broken heart with broken dreams  
one look at you and I mount on the wings of a dove...  
I'm so in love..."  
  
She scanned the audience, in awe that they were swaying in time to her slow song.  
  
"I wanna walk a mile in your shoes  
to know how you make me feel this way  
I want you to feel every emotion I've felt  
When you've just come up to say  
hello  
so you know  
though it never shows  
cuz my pride always stands in the way  
there's something that I've always wanted to say..."  
  
She stopped scanning her audience, and let her eyes rest on Arnold.  
"I love you"  
The last few notes faded away and she carefully placed the microphone back into it's stand. She looked out at the silent audience. Disappointed, she began to walk back to her seat.  
*clap, clap*   
she looked up to see Arnold clapping. Slowly Gerald joined him, then Eugene, then thunderous applause. With tears in her eyes she sat down.  
  
Helga sat outside watching as people left the school. She smiled, she had said it... but had he really listened and understood? Did Arnold know the song was for him?  
"Helga" she turned around to see Arnold sitting behind her.  
"Yeah?" she asked, careful not to call him Football head  
"I really liked your song. It was beautiful" he smiled at her reassuringly and walked off, leaving Helga alone to swoon.  
  
  
The next day after school, everyone was shocked to hear that Arnold was going to do something.  
"After yesterday I thought I'd never be shocked again. Arnold, what are you gonna do?" Gerald asked  
"You'll see" Arnold smiled, going up the the stage. Nervously he unfolded a piece of paper.  
  
"Never known what to think of you  
I've seen you push help away countless times  
a helping hand is all I have to offer  
hoping someday you'd change your mind.  
  
Every harsh words stings more then the one before  
maybe because I can remember when  
things were not always that way  
What can I do to bring back a friend  
that I adore  
  
I catch glimpses every now and then  
a smile a tear a piece of the past restored to me again  
renewing my faith that things aren't always as they seem."  
  
Arnold paused and looked up at Helga. He smiled at her confused face and nodded.  
  
"Got a glimpse of what you're like when the mask is off  
and how it'd be like to really talk to you  
Life is hard and no one's there to make you smile  
and an act is all you have to hide the pain for a while.  
People accept and they move on  
never care to look beyond  
and see the hurting girl  
suffering more then they know.  
And more times then I'd like to admit  
I've pretended you didn't exist  
and tried to push you away.  
  
I'm not as dense as I appear sometimes  
I know the difference between a laugh and a cry  
and i see the pain that reflects in your eyes.  
And though I fail to comprehend  
I felt you cry out even then  
Even when you didn't know you did.  
  
So here's to the past and what's yet to come  
I hope now you know there's one  
more reason to let your feelings show."  
  
Arnold looked back at the audience for a moment, then went back to his seat, the applause following him back. He glanced back at Helga's seat, only to see she had left. He sighed, wondering if he'd ever get through.  
  
Helga sat in a stall in the girls bathroom, holding her locket in front of her "Oh Arnold,my angel of reason, did I become your muse?" 

  



	2. Revealing the Soul

My Muse

A fan fiction by Miss Matched

______________________________________________

All standard disclaimers apply, but I'll restate. I own no characters in this story, however I did write the poetry and song.

________________________________________________________

  


Chapter Two: 

Revealing the Soul

_______________________________________________

  


Arnold ran up to Helga after the Cocoahut had "closed". "I was looking for you after I was done.   
Where'd you go?" He asked, concerned  
  
"Is it any of your business, Arnoldo?" she sighed sadly, not angrily as she usually did.   
"Is something the matter, Helga?"  
"Nothing more than usual" she mumbled under her breath.   
Arnold sat down on a step and motioned for Helga to sit next to him. She sat down nervously.  
"What do you want, Football head?"  
"I want to understand you! You come off so mean and nasty, but then yesterday..." Arnold sighed "You looked   
so free and happy up there, Helga. You always do when you perform, like performing is the only way that we can really see you." He looked up at Helga. "Why?"  
Helga looked down at her hands. She wanted to explain EVERYTHING to him, but something always got in the way. There was only one way she could ever explain...  
She pulled a notebook out of her backpack. She slowly flipped to one page. "Arnold, I... I can't explain anything...  
it's so hard." she scratched her arm nervously "I can communicate my feelings through poetry" she thrust the   
notebook into his hands. "I... I've got to go, Arnoldo." she got off the step and ran off.   
  
Arnold looked at the page in front of him. The handwriting looked so familiar to him. He flipped through the   
notebook, the pages were all blank except for this one. Flipping back to the beginning, he began to read Helga's   
words.   
  
"I guess my dreaming  
keeps pushing me away  
from everyone who thought they knew me  
and now I'm just afraid to stay  
here... when my heart is somewhere else.  
When I'm alone   
i fly away...  
  
But then the fun and games end  
and I'm back here again  
and I'm broken and bruised   
and empty.  
And my soul is on fire  
with a burning desire  
that i can't explain  
and can never be quenched."  
  
Arnold gasped at her vivid, painful choice of words. He read on:  
  
"And in desperation i wonder  
when my life's torn asunder  
would anyone notice  
would my smile be intact?  
would my heart be churning  
and my cheeks burning  
from disgrace and no one would see?  
  
Floating back into my fantasy ...  
Everything's perfect and I'm loved  
and people love me for me  
where my thirst is quenched  
and i can be  
  
But help me I'm falling  
and reality is pulling  
and my heart is heavy  
and my world is turning  
and the reason escapes me  
why only I can see  
Or am I to blind to comprehend?  
Has my dreaming left me jaded?  
Idealistic and naive  
or am I still protected  
and longing to be set free?  
  
And how can I move  
this un-movable feeling  
how can I shake this off  
and feel at ease  
and how can I cry  
with out a reason  
how come I'm down on my knees...  
guess that's where I'm destined to be  
  
I guess my dreaming  
pushed me too far away  
from everyone who thought they knew me  
and why am I expected to stay  
here... when my heart is somewhere else.  
When I'm feeling by my self  
when I'm broken beyond help  
When I'm alone   
I run away..."  
  
Arnold blinked back tears that threatened to fall. He got his first glimpse the life of Helga G. Patacki.   
He felt somewhat astonished that she would feel comfortable to give him this poem, bear her very soul to him.   
He walked home with a new idea and refreshed determination to reveal Helga's beautiful, true colors. 

  



	3. My Secret Friend

My Muse

A fan fiction by Miss Matched

______________________________________________

All standard disclaimers apply, but I'll restate. I own no characters in this story, however I did write the poetry and song.

________________________________________________________

  


Chapter Three : 

My Secret Friend

_______________________________________________

  


Helga arrived earlier then usual for school to wait for Arnold. She didn't know what possessed her to show him her poem. Luckily, it was a new notebook.   
"What if he recognized my handwriting" she worried, rubbing her arms. She glanced up as she saw Arnold walking to the steps with Gerald. He told Gerald to wait for a moment, and walked up to Helga.  
  
"Helga," he started "I really REALLY liked your poem. But you don't need to feel alone." He looked down at the notebook in his hands "I think that we could become really good friends, Helga. Just give me a chance, please?"  
  
Helga tried to contain her emotions inside "And why do you want to be my friend, head boy?"  
  
"It's all I've ever wanted from you"  
  
Helga sighed "You win... Arnold. But I'm warning ya, bucko, you might find out you don't want to get to know me." she crossed her arms across her chest for effect.  
  
It was Arnold's turn to sigh "I had an idea." he smiled, holding up the notebook. "You can write to me in it, and I can write back, if you want to."  
  
Helga considered it "And you would guard it with your life?"  
  
"Absolutely"  
  
"Wwweeeelllll" Helga pondered. She really did want to get to know Arnold better. "Ya got yourself a deal. But it doesn't mean I'm gonna be all the sudden nice to you Arnoldo"  
  
"Whatever you say, Helga" Arnold smiled as the bell rang. "We'd better go inside"  
  
"Just a second" Helga said as Arnold walked off. She sighed and grinned happily, then followed him into the school. In the nick of time, she slid into her chair just as the tardy bell sounded. . As fruitcake-Simmons began teaching, she ripped off a few pieces of paper and shoved them in her mouth. She pulled out her hollow pen-shooter and took aim. FIRE! a tiny piece of paper flew out and bonked the weird-shaped boy on the head. She watched as he marked something in the notebook. FIRE! She shot another one at him. Again, he wrote in the notebook. Helga laughed"Is he taking count?" She spit another one at him, and he marked on the paper again. "Well waddia know?" she smiled, putting her makeshift spitwad shooter away.   
  
At lunch, Arnold passed Helga the journal. Helga opened up to the second page, and sure enough...  
  
_Spitwad count: x x x Wow, Helga! Only three! Yesterday you shot what? Fifteen? _  
Helga sat down at her lunch table and pulled out her purple pen. **  
**  


**I KNEW you were keeping count! And, yeah bucko, gotta make it seem like I still can't stand you ;) Got a rep to keep, ya know. **  
"Hello, Helga" Phoebe greeted from behind her "What are you writing in" Helga slammed the cover shut "Oh, *heh heh* nothing pheebs" she replied nervously.  
"Okay" Phoebe sighed, sitting down next to Helga "Whatever you're writing, I won't look"  
"Thanks Pheebs" Helga smiled sincerely, pulling out her pen again. 

  
**I really liked your poem yesterday, Arnold. Sorry I had to leave before I could clap, I had something in my eye. Anyhow, it was really _really_ good. We could both write poetry in here. Sound good?**

**  
**Helga frowned at the paper, she sounded too sincere... "Maybe it's because I am." she thought to herself "This is a pretty good idea... but I won't let him get to close" she resolved, closing the notebook. She walked by Arnold's table, and kicked his chair. In the process, she dropped the notebook under his chair. "Don't look down, football head" she chuckled. And sure enough, he looked down and saw the notebook.  
"MAN, Arnold, what is WITH that girl?" Gerald complained  
"I'd reckon she's the darned meanest girl to walk the face of this earth" Stinky agreed.  
Arnold shook his head as he opened the notebook up. "I wish I was allowed to prove them wrong" he thought to himself as he read her words. He smiled to himself as he realized something that would have seemed impossible only days ago.  
"Helga's okay." he thought to himself.   
Gerald sighed as he looked at Arnold peering in the notebook "I'm not gonna ask, Arnold. Fine, I will. Is that a note from Lila?"   
"No," Arnold said defensively "Remember, she only likes me"   
"It must be Lila, man. You got this lovey dovey look on your face"   
"I do not, Gerald"   
"Heh, whatever you say, Arnold, whatever you say..." Gerald smirked, picking up his lunch tray. "Just watch yourself. I worry about you." Arnold shook his head picking up the notebook and his own tray. 

"Whatever, man." he laughed, following his friend to the trash can, and throwing away the remnants of lunch. He smiled to himself and looked back down at the notebook, and once again, followed Gerald to the classroom. 

  


  


  



	4. Blessings Well Disguised

My Muse

A fan fiction by Miss Matched

______________________________________________

All standard disclaimers apply, but I'll restate. I own no characters in this story, however I did write the poetry and song.

________________________________________________________

  


Chapter Four:

Blessings Well Disguised

_______________________________________________

  


*swoosh* Helga looked up from her book as soon as she heard the noise. Peering under her desk she saw the notebook screech to a halt. She laughed "Arnold's getting pretty good at this" It had been a week since the notebook had started, and though no one could notice the changes, Arnold could. All the cruel things she had done to him before were now more like jokes. And the ways to pass the book around without letting others know were fun to come up with. Helga picked the notebook up and flipped the page.   
_Spitwad count:   
WHAT??? NO SPITWADS??? What about your "rep", Helga? ;) _  
Helga pulled out her pen  
**No need to worry about the rep anymore, it follows me wherever I go. What difference will it make if I stop the spitwads? **  
"Okay class, time to get into your reading groups" Mr. Simmons announced. Helga got up to go to Phoebe's desk as Arnold got up to go to Gerald's desk. She purposely stood in Arnold's way, and he bumped into her, sending his papers flying. "Watch where you're goin', Football head!" Helga pretended to fume. Arnold had to stop himself from laughing, she was a good actress! She helped him pick his papers up, and pulled the notebook off her desk and into the pile. "Here ya go, Arnoldo. I might not be so nice next time"   
"I'll watch where I'm going, Helga"  
"Good, now step aside you're blocking my path"  
"Yes, madam" Arnold smiled, making a wide, sweeping motion to Phoebe's desk as Helga walked past him. He sat down at Gerald's desk.   
"Man Arnold! Helga's mean to you and you can STAND it??? You're a doormat, man!"   
"I am not a doormat, Gerald! You wouldn't understand" Arnold sighed  
"Yeah, well just don't get too attached to her"   
"Gerald, what are you saying?"  
"*koff* Oh, nnn... nothing man... uh uh nothing at all!"  
"Whatever, Gerald" Arnold laughed it off.   
  
"So, Helga, did you read the assignment"  
"Yeah, Pheebs. The whole chapter of 'To Kill a Mockingbird"  
"So, what are your thoughts on the chapter?" Phoebe asked  
"Well, I think people are giving Boo a bad name" Helga started out "Atticus mentioned how you shouldn't kill a mockingbird because they've done nothing wrong. I think Boo is a mockingbird, and people can't understand him, so they draw conclusions about him"   
Phoebe smiled "Wow, Helga! And it looks like we've finished our discussion ahead of time!"  
While Helga and Phoebe were discussing, Arnold put the notebook on top of Helga's things; right on top of a notebook labled "Poetry".   
"I'll just write then, Pheebs"  
"Okay!" Phoebe smiled, picking "To Kill a Mockingbird" back up. Helga picked up the notebook on top, thinking it was her poetry notebook. She chewed on the end of her pen for a few moments, then began to write. 

  


**Think I've found the light at the end of the tunnel   
I can see my hope lying in his eyes  
I feel my mask starting to crumble  
wondering what it would be like to live without the disguise.  
Hope he feels the glow I feel  
Hope he knows I'm one step closer to making my dream real   
Hold my hand   
understand  
you've found me.  
But if he only knew of the secret I'm keeping  
doomed to hold 'til the very day I die.  
And maybe that's why  
The light in the tunnel is still so far away.**

Helga shut the notebook and placed it back in her pile of things.   
The day passed quickly and Helga gathered all her belongings together to leave. "Hey, I thought I gave him the notebook! Oh well" Helga sighed. She sat on the steps outside until Arnold came out. She stood up and smacked him on the top of the head with it. "Looks like you forgot something, Arnoldo"  
"Thanks Helga!" Arnold laughed, snatching the notebook.   
Helga watched him leave and pulled out her poetry notebook. "Wha???" she flipped through the pages trying to find her poem she had just written. "Oh crap..." 

  


  
  


  


  


  


  



	5. Touching Fire

My Muse

A fan fiction by Miss Matched

______________________________________________

All standard disclaimers apply, but I'll restate. I own no characters in this story, however I did write the poetry and song.

________________________________________________________

  


Chapter Five:

Touching Fire

_______________________________________________

  


Helga waited for Arnold nervously the next morning. "He wasn't supposed to read that poem!" she worried "How did he sneak the notebook over to me without my noticing? What... what will he think? Will he figure anything out?" She didn't have to wait much longer as Arnold walked up the steps to sit next to her, notebook in hand. 

"Helga" he started "I liked the poem you wrote..." he turned to face her, and she turned away.

  


"Shut up, football head. You don't know anything." she answered back coldly. 

  


"Please, Helga, don't hide anything from me! I want to understand you, I want to be there for you!" 

"Why shouldn't I, bucko? It's my life!" Helga countered, trying to sound angry. She could tell that Arnold could see through her feeble attempt. She spun back around to glare at Arnold. 

"Helga..." He began to quote her poem "Hope he feels the glow I feel; Hope he knows I'm one step closer to making my dream real" Helga blushed as Arnold continued to talk "I feel the glow, Helga, I really do" he said shyly, grasping her hands for effect. 

  


"And what makes you think I was writing about you?" Helga scoffed, reminding herself not to be a softie. "You're really that self centered? That's not the Arnold I know."

  


Arnold's eyes narrowed. "I'm trying to understand you. You don't give me much to go on..."he trailed off, " I'm trying to understand how your mind works. You aren't exactly the easiest person to figure out."

  


Helga rolled her eyes, and turned back to him. "Hm, I wonder why." she deadpanned. 

  


"Why can't you let anyone see this side of you?" Arnold asked, holding up the notebook. "The side of you that actually CARES! I'm just trying to 'feel the glow' as you stated before"

"You've done more then that, Arnold" Helga shot back, "You just had to try to reach past the glow. And you succeeded." She forcefully pulled her hands out of his grasp. "You've touched fire, Arnoldo. You'd better back away before someone gets hurt." She snatched up the notebook and walked into the school, leaving Arnold alone on the steps to wonder what he'd done wrong.  
  
"Arnold! Hey Arnold" Gerald waved his hand in front of Arnold's face "Arrrnnoollddd, ya there man?" Arnold was staring at Helga, sadly.  
"Huh? Oh, sorry Gerald. I'm just worried about Helga" Arnold stated glumly   
"Why should you care, man? She's been nice to you all day!"   
"No she hasn't! She's been ignoring me!"  
"Sounds the same to me, man!"  
"You just don't get it"  
"Care to explain?" Gerald asked   
"I'm not at liberty to explain" Arnold admitted.  
"Arnold, just remember... this is HELGA we're talking about! The girl who's hated you since the dawn of time for NO reason what-so-ever!"   
Arnold sighed and turned to face Gerald "I don't care! I want to help her, I really do!"   
"Maybe she doesn't wanna be helped, man. It's not like she's standing there waiting to be helped, ready to spill her life story. She's got a strong will, man, do you think that one boy can bring her around?" Gerald shook his head as he saw the determination in his best friend's eyes. "You're a bold kid, Arnold; a _bold_ kid"  
  
  
"Helga, did you read your assignment?"  
"Yeah, Pheebs" Helga pulled her book out slowly.   
"So, what's your opinions on this chapter, Helga?"   
"You can give your opinions today"   
"Well, okay" Phoebe smiled and began to ramble on about symbolism. Helga tried to pay attention, but her mind kept wandering back to the morning's events. She was surprised at herself, almost. Why wasn't she happy that Arnold was paying so much attention to her? Why did it make her so mad? Helga sighed.  
"Helga! Helga!"  
"Wha? Oh, Pheebs! Um.. yeah, I agree, yup"  
"Are you okay, Helga?" Phoebe asked, concerned.  
"Yup, uh huh! Peachy!" Helga said nervously "Why'd ya ask?"   
"I'm your best friend, Helga. You can talk to me! Does this have to do about" Phoebe lowered her voice "Arnold?"  
Helga sighed "Yes. I'm so confused! He wants to learn more about me, how come I'm not happy?"  
"Maybe you're questioning his reasons?" Phoebe asked after a few moments. Helga nodded sadly.   
"Yeah, Phoebe, that pretty much summed it up." Helga smiled,half-hearted. "Thanks for listening"   
"No problem!" Phoebe smiled back. "I need to talk to Arnold" she thought, looking at Helga, then back at the football head. She snapped her book shut as the bell rang. 

  


Helga hopped out of her seat as Phoebe slammed her book shut. Wordlessly, Helga gathered her things together and left the school.   
Phoebe sighed as Helga left. "This has got to help" she muttered as she walked up to Arnold, who was talking to Gerald. "Excuse me" Phoebe smiled, tapping Gerald on the shoulder "Can I talk to Arnold?"   
"Sure" Gerald said, remaining in his position.   
"Alone, please" Phoebe explained.   
"Fine, fine. I'll call you tonight, Arnold!"  
"Bye Gerald!" Arnold called after the boy. He turned back to Phoebe. "Is something wrong?"   
Phoebe nodded. "Well, it's..." Phoebe cleared her throat "It's about Helga." This got Arnold's attention. "She's curious to your reasons why you really want to understand her"   
"I want to be her friend!" Arnold explained. Phoebe arched an eyebrow, and he continued. "She's always so bossy and difficult, but then when she finally opens up..."  
"Give her time, don't rush her." Phoebe advised, looking Arnold straight in the eye. "And if you want her to open up to you, you should open up to her. Is it really fair to expect her to tell you everything when you tell her nothing about yourself?"  
Arnold sighed "You're right, Phoebe. But the hardest thing to tell her would be..." he lowered his voice "I care about her... a lot. And I don't know if I like LIKE her or just like her... I'm really confused" he scratched the back of his neck nervously.   
"I understand how you feel" she confided, looking at Gerald's retreating form. She turned back to Arnold. "You never know unless you try, Arnold. That's all I can really say. I'll see you tomorrow"   
"Thanks Phoebe" Arnold smiled "Oh and Phoebe?"   
"Hm?"  
"Don't tell Helga we had this talk?"  
"Forgetting!" Phoebe sang as she walked away.   
  
Helga dashed up the stairs to her room, slamming and locking the door behind her. She flung her closet open to look at her Arnold shrine. She smiled "Not as good as the real thing" she admitted, "But at least he asks less questions" She pulled out her and Arnold's notebook, flipping to the one and only poem he wrote. Helga smiled, so much for it being a poetry notebook, they chatted back and forth in it like good friends. "If only that would be enough for me. But I can't fool myself into thinking that, no matter how hard I try. I can't say no to Arnold much longer, I can't suppress my feelings for him! It gets harder and harder not to spill the beans every time I'm around him!" She looked down at the page and Arnold's bold handwriting.  
  
Baseball  
  
The ball is thrown, I take a swing  
and miss it by a mile  
The catcher (who acts like she's a brute  
But really is kind of cute)  
Yells "Strike one!" And throws the ball back to the pitcher.   
He throws it again, once again I miss The pitcher smiles like I'm done  
He throws it again, and again I swing  
and by the ball flies  
and knocks out half the team  
And once again I'm left to wonder  
How come I'm stuck with dangerous lumber?  
Helga swooned "He called me cute!" she turned back around to her Arnold shrine "Arnold, the keeper of my heart; why does love play such foolish games that I only reason I live when we're apart is the thought of another moment in your presence?" she lingered on that thought for a moment "Ooh! That's a keeper!" After putting on her pajamas, she flopped on top of her bed. 

  


"So what now?" Helga asked herself. She was seated in the middle of her floor, munching on a carrot stick. Learining her lesson of not eating pork rinds before bed, she had opted for a healthy, yet still crunchy substitute. "I think he called me cute" she said, looking back down at the notebook "But then again, maybe that one day I was sick, they had _LILA_ in the game." She took a forceful bite from her carrot stick, which felt like it nearly ripped her tooth out. "HEY!" she yelped, hopping to her feet. She rubbed her jaw, and chucked the remaining carrots out an open window. "I guess I know nothing for certain, but tomorrow's a new day." she concluded, hopping into bed. With a quick yawn and brisk rub at her jaw, she flipped off her light. 

___________________________________________________________________________________________

Lying on his bed, Arnold passed the time by tossing a base ball up and down. Helga had the notebook for the evening, and he had so much to say. He paused from his game of catch, and walked to his computer. After opening a typing program, he sat with his fingers poised above the keyboard. "Now to put all my thoughts into words" he scoffed to himself. Wasting no more time, he began to type. Soon, almost too soon, he finished. He printed out the paper, and placed it carefully in a folder. "Tomorrow's a new day" he reminded himself, hopping into bed and turning out the light.   



	6. Introspection

My Muse

A fan fiction by Miss Matched

______________________________________________

All standard disclaimers apply, but I'll restate. I own no characters in this story, however I did write the poetry and song.

________________________________________________________

  


Chapter Six:

Introspection

__________________________________________________________________

"Where is she?" Arnold asked himself, glancing back down at his watch. Only minutes remained before the bell rang, and he was afraid of being late. He looked back up at the school, then back at Gerald, who was shaking his head. 

  


"Man oh man, Arnold." he muttered mostly to himself. "You never know when to quit."

  
"Step aside, you're blocking my way" a voice from behind Arnold stated bluntly. He whirled around to see Helga towering over him. She plopped the notebook into his open hand. "I didn't write." With that, she walked away, leaving behind a confused Arnold. He watched as Helga stomped up the stairs and into the school.  
  


"What did I do now" he slapped his forehead as the final bell rang. He dashed up the stairs and into the classroom as fast as he could. Panting, he sat down in his chair. Mr. Simmons turned around from his position writing on the blackboard.   
  


"Arnold!" Mr. Simmons scolded, seeming surprised. "You're not usually late. Actually, you've been acting out of character lately." He walked up to Arnold's desk, oblivious of the students making faces at his back. "I want you to go see Dr. Bliss; she's in the building today to test the mental stability of our staff" he paused, laughing nervously, "Here's your pass." Handing Arnold a piece of paper, he shooed him out the door.   
"And so begins the worst day in history" Arnold groaned. He moped his way down the hallway and to the principal's office. (Mr. Wartz had to temporarily move his office to the lunch room, which, truth be told, he didn't mind one bit.)

  


"Dr. Bliss?" Arnold timidly knocked on the door.  
  


"Come in" A professional sounding female voice said, and Arnold obeyed. Wordlessly, he took a seat. Dr. Bliss turned her chair to face Arnold's.  
  
"Mr. Simmons sent me to come here." he said softly, refusing to make eye contact. Slowly, he held out his pass.  
  
"Funny," Dr. Bliss looked at the clipboard in her lap "I was to see Mr. Simmons now... not one of his students." She took the pass and read what was written on it. "Well, Arnold, acting out of character lately? Is there anything you want to talk about?" She sounded concerned  
  
Arnold looked up from his hands at the doctor. "No, I really don't believe I need to be in here..."  
  
"Well" Dr. Bliss pulled a pencil out from behind her ear. "Then why were you sent here?"  
  
Arnold fidgeted, he hated being put on the spot, even if it was only with one person. "I came in late today..." he trailed off.  
  
Dr. Bliss smiled slightly, writing down on her notepad. "And I take it you're not usually late. Were you waiting for someone?"  
  
Arnold nodded slightly, looking back down at his shoes. "Yeah... a friend..."  
  
"And couldn't you have seen this friend during school?"  
  
"I suppose so, I was just hoping to catch her while it wasn't crowded."  
  
"Why?" Dr. Bliss asked gently. "Come on" she chided, as Arnold squirmed some more "Nothing goes out of this room. Talking sometimes gets feelings sorted out."   
  
Arnold sighed. "She's kind of a bully, and won't open up... so we've been talking through a notebook..."  
  
"'She' as in..."  
  
"Helga Pataki" He said shortly. "May I please go now?"  
  
Dr. Bliss raised her eyebrows in obvious surprise. "Well... you could go, if you really want to. But you can always stay and get things worked out" She waited a few moments to make sure Arnold wasn't leaving. "Now... the notebook..."  
  
"Yeah. We've been writing in it, and she's not as mean as she acts like she is. Actually, she's really charming." Arnold admitted, a faint blush on his face.  
  
Dr. Bliss smiled even wider, but attempted to hide it by looking down at her notepad. "And you've told this to her?"  
  
"Well...."  
  
"You should" She said firmly. "And you'd" she looked back up at Arnold "You'd better get back to class!"  
  
"Thank you, Dr. Bliss!" Arnold smiled on his way out. Dr. Bliss closed the door behind him. With a victorious squeal, she leaned up against the door. "Go Helga!" 


	7. You Never Saw it Comming?

My Muse

A fan fiction by Miss Matched

______________________________________________

All standard disclaimers apply, but I'll restate. I own no characters in this story, however I did write the poetry and song.

________________________________________________________

  


Chapter Seven:

You Never Saw it Coming?

________________________________________________________

  


"Helga?" It was lunch time, and Arnold decided it was also high time that he sorted a few things out. "Maybe lunch at her and Phoebe's table will help" he convinced himself. So there he was, standing behind her as she ate, obviously ignoring him.  
  
"Um Helga..." Phoebe began politely, "I believe Arnold is trying to get your attention"  
  
Helga took another fierce bite of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. "Why would he want to get my attention anyways? Someone could be watching, and that won't look good." She spun around, anger in her eyes "Hanging out with a bully isn't gonna take your rep to new heights. But why am I telling you that? You obviously already knew!" She realized that all conversations in the lunch room had stopped, and all eyes were on her, but she didn't care. "So just go, Arnoldo! I don't want to only be your friend on your time!" Dejected, Arnold walked back to his usual table, and conversation picked back up.  
  
"Oh, sounds like you've been dumped, man" Gerald said sympathetically as Arnold sat down.  
  
"And what do you mean by that?"  
  
"Oh, nothing man, nothing at all..."  
  
Arnold groaned "She's the one who started the notebook, not me. She's the one who's careful about keeping secrets"  
  
Sid and Harold shot him funny looks. "Notebook? With Helga?" Harold asked, flecks of pastry flying out of his mouth as he spoke.   
  
"Why, I reckon we musta been mistaken with what me just done heard!" Stinky tried to rationalize, "Why would the durn nicest boy in school reckon with the gol-durn bully?"  
  
Gerald paused for a moment, then decided to speak. "Yeah, Arnold. It's not like there's anything special about her anyways."   
  
That was the one thing that pushed Arnold over the edge. "Oh sure, and I bet all of you just tried to make a conversation with her" He kept his voice steady, trying to keep the strain of the day from showing. "You all go out of your way to show how much that you care, don't you?" He didn't even notice as his voice rose. "Sometimes people hide things. It's normal. You can't just accept things as they are, sometimes you just need to show that you care, without worrying about how others feel." He stood up. "And I've been missing a part of that the whole time." He picked up his lunch and stood behind Helga again. "We need to talk." he said firmly. "I've been wrong about a lot of things lately."  
  
Helga paused from chewing and turned around halfway in her seat. "Go on..."  
  
"But there's one thing that I'm not wrong about. And that's you." Arnold laughed, and continued "Truth is, I've never known anyone like you, and I doubt I ever will meet another person like you. You're amazing; amazingly smart, funny... and lonely. But you need no one's charity, no one's pity."  
  
"I don't need you to tell me what I'm like, bucko." Helga said huskily.  
  
"But others do." He motioned over to his lunch table and the shocked faces over there. "So go on, pretend you don't care. Pretend you don't care even the tiniest bit for me. I won't stop caring Helga... I care a lot."  
  
Helga looked frozen with a look of confusion on her face. Finally, she spoke. "How much?" she asked warily.  
  
The lunchroom was painfully quiet as Arnold finally gave in. "I like LIKE you... and I don't care if you don't feel the same way, I can wait. I just needed people to..." Helga began to laugh, and he stopped mid sentence. "I'm that bad?"  
  
"Arnold shut up!" she chuckled, looking up at his sad face. "I love the crap outta you! I've liked you ever since kindergarten, bucko!"  
  
Meanwhile, Harold choked on his Mr. Fudgie bar.  
  
"So you don't think I'm..."  
  
Helga was elated "I'm just surprised that you're not mad at me!"  
  
Phoebe spoke up "I hate to break into this love fest... but I do believe that there's a lot of explaining that Helga needs to do..."  
  
Taking a deep breath, Helga motioned for Arnold to take a seat. "Remember Cecile?"  
  
Arnold raised an eyebrow "Um... yeah..."  
  
"And remember the little pink notebook you found?"  
  
Arnold's eyes got very wide "I knew your handwriting looked familiar! Wait... you're saying..."  
  
"I'm not a good enough actress to act like I hate you all the time"  
  
Arnold blinked "But why did you even..."  
  
Helga sighed "Some things are too hard to explain..."


	8. So Where Does This Leave Us?

My Muse

A fan fiction by Miss Matched

______________________________________________

All standard disclaimers apply, but I'll restate. I own no characters in this story, however I did write the poetry and song.

________________________________________________________

  


Chapter Eight:

So Where Does This Leave Us?

________________________________________________________

  


The school bell had just rang, and happy students jumped from their desks and bolted to the door.   
  
"Have a nice evening, class!" Mr. Simmons called as they left.  
  
"Oh, Mr. Simmons?" He turned around to see Dr. Bliss standing behind him. She tapped her foot impatiently, and looked down at her watch. "I believe we have an appointment..."  
  
"Heh...erk..." He pulled at his collar with nervousness, and sat down, "Okay"  
  
Meanwhile, Helga and Arnold sat on the steps outside of the school, waiting for the bus to arrive.  
  
"So let me get this straight," Arnold started "You act mean because you don't want people to make fun of you"  
  
"yeah..."  
  
"And it started in Kindergarten"  
  
"Yeaaahhhh" Helga said, evidently becoming a bit nervous again.  
  
"And you have a shrine to me in your closet" Arnold was about to laugh, but was afraid that Helga would take it the wrong way.  
  
She gave him a lopsided grin "Yeah, Bucko, why you repeating what I just said?"  
  
Arnold gave a little laugh "Just making sure I heard right!"  
  
Helga looked back down at her hands "So... um... where does this leave us?" she asked shyly.  
  
"Right where we should have been" Arnold smiled, and gave her a quick hug. "Friends" He looked back at her confused face, and continued. "We're in fourth grade, and I don't want to make promises that I can't keep."  
  
"I understand" Helga smiled warmly. "Hey, the bus is here!" she pointed as it rolled up. "You go on ahead."  
  
"Whatever you say..." Arnold smiled, running down the steps. After which, Helga promptly swooned and fainted. She came to in the bus. "Uh... oops!" She laughed, sitting straight up. "Thanks, Pheebs"  
  
"Well, I had Gerald help me drag you in here" she admitted, cleaning her glasses.  
  
"No, not just for that... for being my best friend. I'm sorry, I just haven't always said it enough."  
  
Phoebe grinned, and gave Helga a great big hug "Oh Helga! Thank you!!!"  
  
"Just don't get all mushy on me, Pheebs"  
  
"I won't!" She sang happily, and got off the bus.   
  
"We'd better get to Gerald field, we don't want to be late for the game." Helga reminded her, as they caught up to Arnold, Gerald, and the rest of the gang.  
  
"Oh! I just can't wait for the game, you guys!" Eugene said happily, "I'm just so excited!" He jumped up to prove it, and ended up landing in a strategically placed open man hole. "I'm okay..."  
  
Gerald sighed "I'll fish 'im out, you go to the field, okay?" Everyone nodded in agreement, and continued to walk.   
  
"I'll bet that they don't last" Rhonda whispered to Nadine, motioning to Arnold and Helga.  
  
"I wouldn't suggest betting on that, Arnold is very true to his word" Nadine whispered back.  
  
Rhonda huffed "If you're so sure... I bet a real silk Capreni blouse over it!"  
  
"But you know I can't afford that!"  
  
Rhonda laughed "Oh, but if you're so sure that Arnold and Helga are going to stay together..."  
  
Nadine paused "Let's make the bet last for three weeks. If they don't get into an earth-shattering fight by then..."  
  
"Sounds good to me" Rhonda smiled "A Loyd can never have too many good shirts."  
  
"You've got yourself a bet!" Nadine smiled.   
  
"Hurry it on up!" Stinky called to the two stragglers "I reckon y'all gonna be the last people here!"  
  
And so the game began, Arnold's team verses Harold's. The game ended a tie, as the sun began to set. Sid helped Eugene home, who had a rather large lump on his head from the ball hitting him in the exact same spot three times in a row. Impossible, you say? Not for Eugene. Everyone else said their goodbyes and scattered.  
  
"Hey Arnold!" Gerald hollered, running to catch him "I'm sorry about today."  
  
Arnold nodded "Yeah, me too. I shouldn't have lost my cool like that."  
  
Gerald smiled "Anyway, congrats on you and Helga. Phoebe says she's really great when she opens up."  
  
"We're not going out" Arnold sighed "I don't want to hurt her, so we're going to wait. After all, we're in fourth grade. Our whole lives are ahead of us."  
  
"Deep, man" Gerald nodded. The two friends bid each other goodbye as Arnold walked into the boarding house.   
  
"Hey shortman!" Grandpa greeted him "How was your day at school"  
  
"Great!" Arnold smiled, running up stairs.  
  
"Come down for dinner soon!" Grandpa called up after him "Pookie made raspberry pie for us... ooohhh my stomach already hurts!"  
  
"Okay grandpa!" He shouted back. After closing his door, he ran to his closet. "I wonder if there's enough room in here..." he trailed off. With a lovesick smile, he ran back downstairs for pie.   
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*  
  
"Olga! Get me a yahoo!"   
  
"Yes... BOB" Helga said, getting him a soda with more cheer then usual. She placed it down next to his chair. "Anythin' else?"  
  
"Cripes, Olga, you act like I'm making you my slave!" He moaned  
  
"It's HELGA, dad, and no, just wondering"  
  
Big Bob blinked and looked back up "No, Helga, thanks for asking though" He responded gruffly.   
  
"'night dad!" she called as she ran to her room. "Everything's perfect now" Helga swooned "Nothing can go wrong!"  
  
  
And Helga was nearly right. Three weeks had passed, and although Rhonda had tried her hand at causing a fight, the two just ended up ganging up on her.   
  
"What? I was just asking if you named your fists too, Arnold!"  
  
"No" Helga said, angerly. It had become a ritual for three weeks straight that the entire lunch room would be watching them, like their own personal soap. "You asked if he was going to be a bully like me." She took a step closer "Let me tell you something, Rhondaloyd, I was going to be nicer, but you just may make me break my own promise. Arnold is the nicest guy in the whole freaking school. And if you dare disagree with me, Ol' Bessy will have a nice conversation with you." She shook her fist for effect.  
  
And so, our story nears its end. Nadene was now the proud owner of a beautiful blue Capreni blouse, AND matching pants. Rhonda had been silenced for a time, and Eugene was out of his baseball induced coma and the hospital. Hey, there's one person I haven't mentioned yet!  
  
"I hope Helga and Arnold are ever so happy together!"  
  
"But Lila, I thought you said that they wouldn't make it!" Rhonda gaped at the girl. "And I believed you!"  
  
"Oh, Rhonda. You should ever so shut up!"  


  


  


  


AN: And that's it. I hope you enjoyed. Yes, I did lots of editing, including making things much more tense (I hope) in "Touching Fire". If you liked this, once again, please check out "My Muse" which is the in progress sequel. When you review, please add if you think I should write a third story that would take place in between these two. Thanks for reading, and God bless!

  


_Miss Matched_

  
  



End file.
